Self Care For the Modern Woman
Self Care
The world is shifting to a feminine way of operating—borderless, easy, abundant, vast, constantly innovating, and mostly intangible. We see this shift in how AI, a major catalyst for this feminine era, is erasing boundaries in industries, traditional structures, and so much more. It’s creating a world that feels vast, open, and accessible to everyone.
However, with this abundance comes an lack of boundaries, making it harder to separate things—for example, when work ends, and free time begins—or to avoid overindulging in dopamine-driven activities like social media. For women, who already operate internally in a state of fluidity, an external world that mirrors this state can create overwhelming chaos.
Now, more than ever, it’s essential to create structure, boundaries, and routines to control this fluidity, both within and without. These are the tools that bring clarity, purpose, and balance to the modern woman. Here’s how:
Structure
The key to control and presence. Structure creates an aura of presence and allure in a woman. The reason many people lose their sense of presence is that their minds are pulled in multiple directions. As David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done, wisely observed, many of us have "open loops" in our minds—unfinished tasks, unmade decisions, unresolved plans. These loops scatter our energy and create worry, procrastination, stress, and a sense of being out of control.
Imagine that presence requires 100 units of energy to be magnetic and attractive. Every open loop takes a portion of that energy, leaving you depleted. Structure transforms this scattered state into one of control and clarity. It allows you to manage what is within your power and keeps your mind clear.
How to Create Structure:
Start with a list: Write down all your tasks, ideas, and to-dos.
Time-block your calendar: Assign each task to a specific time, leaving room for flexibility.
Daily reviews: At the end of each day, evaluate what you’ve accomplished and update your schedule for the next day.
Structure doesn’t just help you stay organized—it builds self-esteem. Accomplishing your goals feeds into your confidence, creating a sense of progress and control. Structure is self-love. It’s the foundation of a balanced, fulfilling life.
Routine
Routine is automation. Without a routine, even small decisions—like whether to work out or what to eat—consume unnecessary energy. If you imagine your mind has a limited amount of energy to use each day, the mental effort of constant decision-making drains you quickly.
Your brain naturally avoids discomfort, but discomfort is where growth happens. A routine shifts essential tasks from your conscious mind to your subconscious through repetition. Over time, these tasks become habits—actions you perform automatically without resistance.
How to Build a Routine:
Start small: Choose one or two key habits to anchor your day.
Beautify your routine: Add enjoyable elements, like lighting a candle, playing jazz, or using your favorite stationery during your planning time.
Stick with it: Repetition turns actions into habits. The more consistent you are, the easier it becomes.
Routine isn’t about rigidity—it’s about freedom. By automating the basics, you conserve energy for the things that matter most.
Boundaries
Boundaries are respect. In today’s world, so many things demand your time, attention, and energy—often without offering much in return. For example, spending two hours scrolling on Instagram is one of the greatest wastes of time in the modern age. The reward you receive for that time is so minimal that it’s not worth the investment.
How to Set Boundaries:
Ask yourself: “How much am I gaining from this?” If the answer doesn’t align with furthering your goals, improving yourself, or bringing you genuine joy and connection, reduce the time you spend on it.
Add value to yourself: Treat your energy, time, and attention as premium resources. Be intentional about where you invest them.
Be exclusive: Stop watching everyone’s stories, limit your social media usage, and choose your words and interactions carefully.
Boundaries prevent you from being swept up in external chaos. They help you stay grounded and focused, ensuring that your energy is spent on activities and people who truly matter. When you value yourself and your time, others will, too.